Over the past few years, the Lord has been gently exposing attitudes and mindsets I possess that are contrary to living a fully Christian life. This has been a bittersweet experience. Bitter because I am proud and don’t like realising I am or have been wrong; sweet because now that the attitude has been exposed, I can repent and change my sinful ways to something pleasing to the Lord.
I have a tendency to be very harsh on myself. I am overly critical and slip into discouragement far too easily. I remember a rugby coach I had in high school pulled me aside one day at training and said, “Simon Carrington, you are your own worst critic! Be kinder to yourself!”
I struggle not to despair over the time I have “wasted” in my life. Just as I was in a “despairing moment” in prayer recently, I was moved to read Joel 2:25, which says, “I will restore to you the years which the swarming locust has eaten.”
I have heard this Scripture interpreted as the Lord restoring to us years that we feel have been lost to sin in our past. I can think back to my past and be tempted to think, “If only I had not struggled with impurity or wasted all those years believing this or that—I would be so much holier!”
Not only is this pride—because we should never be surprised by our failures and setbacks—but this way of thinking also makes God very small. Do I not believe God can use all things, even past sinful attitudes and behaviours, for good (Rom 8:28)? Do I not believe that God can turn my mess into a message and help others avoid falling into the same traps and sins as I did?
You never lose when you are with God. It is important—and I am preaching to myself here—not to despair over seemingly wasted years but to rejoice when we respond to God’s light shining on our weaknesses and sins. We should always repent when the Lord lovingly reveals something we need to change, but spend twice as much time praising Him for revealing a roadblock to our holiness. God will never reveal a wound or weakness without supplying the grace necessary to overcome it.
God loves you, and He died for you and me while we were still sinners (Rom 5:8)! He did not wait until we were perfect; we are loved now. And He will continue to lovingly reveal where we need to grow.
Let’s trust in Him. He will restore to us the years the locusts have eaten.
